Note To self #6

22 Feb

You need to stop Face-booking too much. Most Facebook friends are like the pet cat, you can tell him your problems  but he will not offer a solution. 100% of the time, he just doesn’t even care.

The Night Visitor

22 Feb

The sound of my sister’s phone goes off and I am awoken from my all so perfect sleep. Opening my eyes I find I cannot see a thing. Darkness is all that is around me. Another black out obviously. Stupid ZESCO. Even in my sleepy state I can’t help but get angry at probably the worst Electricity supply company in the world.

Still a bit disoriented from sleep I hear a familiar sound by my window. Someone is trying to open it and from the cold night breeze that swiftly washes over my body, making me shiver I know they have succeeded.

My first thought is to scream but that is immediately taken over by fear and my body has gone numb, almost frozen. I cannot move.

I feel the weight of something push down on my bed and it seems to be moving closer, closer to my body. At that moment I know I should do something, jump out of  the bed and run, call out to my parents in the next room, grab a shoe and hit it, anything but I just lay there and pretend I am asleep.

A thought comes to my mind, any minute now they will reach my throat and they will kill me. This is the worst way to go, surrounded by darkness. I will probably never see my family again, never graduate, never get married, and never see my boyfriend again. This is just too much.

Just then I feel something on my bum. The touch is so gentle, almost like I am imagining it. Oh no, please just kill me, do not rape me also. Get up! Move! Scream! But still my body is frozen, not listening to any of my orders. It is almost like my brain no longer functions, except to help me feel fear and I guess in the next moment it will be pain.

Hearing some movement on the bed next to mine, I suddenly remember my sister is in the room with me. Oh God no, I was ready to accept whatever fate had been laid out for me, but my poor sister, I could not handle that.  Life suddenly comes back into my body and a plan is made. Not a good one but desperate times.

Shifting in the bed and making it seem like I was just stretching, I reach over to the foot of my bed. I grab the fork I had been using just some hours ago, happy that my bad eating habits and my inability to take back the plate and fork to the kitchen might just save not only my life but my sisters too.

All of the sudden the room goes bright, the power is back on. Wow ZESCO can you seriously suck any more than you already do? I hate you so much. In that moment I know this is the only chance I will get to strike the potential Murderer/ rapist on my bed. Getting up with all I have, the dirty fork in hand and probably the strength of an army inside of me, I turn and launch myself preparing to come face to face with the intruder. Oh please, let this work.

Just as I am about to strike I find myself staring in familiar eyes, eyes so innocent and big, I can’t help but sigh with relief. All this time I was freaking out and it was just Mr. Rebels, my sisters pet cat. What did I almost do?

I laugh at myself but I know nothing about this is funny; I almost stabbed my sister’s cat with a fork. Talk about an over active imagination. I could not even remember that we own a cat. I guess that is what you get for reading vampire novels and watching too many serial killer movies.

School Memories

21 Feb

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The one thing I used to like most about my first year of  University were the fish ponds. Weird I know. Now I feel bad each time I am walking around because they have really stopped looking after them.  I do not see that many fish and the water levels are almost always dangerously low.

Photo frenzy

21 Feb

Oh my, I can’t believe I can not remember the last time I took a picture. Not even my Facebook or twitter have new Pictures. I think I can blame it on my never ending bad hair days and fashion disasters. Its true. The first thing my sister says to me when she gets back from school is what are you wearing? followed by What the hell happened to your hair?  I just do not feel as good about taking photos as I used to be. Its weird because believe me I used to pose for pics like each day and had like over 10 pictures a day. Of course I never showed anybody all of them, but I did upload one on Facebook every once in a while just so people who no longer live near me do not forget how I look like.

So I have decided that from now on, I will be taking at least two pictures each week and posting them, who knows maybe I will start feeling better about myself.

Well until then, I will have to kick start this venture with some old pictures.

Dee

 

 

Dee

 

Dee

 

 

Dee

 

me

Note to self #5

20 Feb

Don’t ever read FIFTY SHADES OF CRAP GREY again. Stick to the books you love.

Would you hire this man?

19 Feb

application

I am still not sure if this letter is real but you have got to wonder.

When I see stuff like this, I know I my parents made the right choice sending me to school. Though at the time, It all seemed like school was all about meeting friends, gossiping, crushes and making fun of teachers. At least I learnt what to do and not to do when applying for a job or anything.

And just in case you do not know, I will just put down one things never to include in a formal letter . no matter how desperate you are

  1. Probably not a good idea to state that you want the job of a deceased guy, whose funeral you just happened to attend, they might just think you did it. You know, murdered someone so you can have his job.

But I might be wrong, it is not even like I am some super powered letter writing genius, I have only ever written like three formal letters myself.

  • One was to apply for a student lawn
  • one was to apply for campus accommodation
  • one was apply for an attachment or internship at a mine (I haven’t yet sent this one, well partly because I just want to “chill”his vacation)

I just had to share this. Lets hope you have learnt something.

Obviously the joker / weirdo who wrote the above “letter” was high and his desperation for a job clouded his logic such that he ended up acting on crazy impulse and made a total fool of himself

Obviously the man who sent the sample letter above was just your every day “Go-getter”, he wanted a job and he went after it with everything he had. I will commend him for well putting himself out there at least?

Quote

I Quote A Famous Person #3

19 Feb

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. – Dr Seuss

Note to self #4

19 Feb

Being chased by a chicken is so not sexy. STAY AWAY FROM MOTHER HENS AND THEIR CHICKS

Of Warm Blankets and Warm Bodies

18 Feb

Laying in bed, covered under two layers of blankets and still feeling cold, a thunder storm out side as it rains dinosaurs and dragons (way worse than cats and dogs), I find myself thinking about the best way to feel warm.

If you walked around my house, you will discover that there is neither a chimney(fire place) nor  a heater,not that we would ever use the chimney even if we had one. I suspect we would probably use it as a shoe storage or close it up to prevent thieves or bats from entering the house. And well a heater would just skyrocket the electricity bill through the roof and beyond so that’s also out of the question.

As I open another tab in my browser and go to Facebook, I see updates from people I have never met ( I mean who doesn’t have those on their Facebook), and the updates well they go a little something like this:

“Eish, this weather…I wishI had someone to warm me up.

“BMW…Baby Making Weather”

“If you do not have someone to cuddle up with right now, I feel for you coz you are gonna freeze.”

You can obviously guess my reaction and thought, here I am in bed with socks, a hoodie and these really ugly pants I wouldn’t be seen dead in outside my room and people are busy talking about having warm bodies in their beds.

Call me old-fashioned or whatever, but what is wrong with just buying warmer clothes, a blanket and I don’t know maybe even gloves? Maybe I am just being like this because apart from the stuffed animals, the only other option to snuggle with is my sister’s cat. Who would be desperate enough to do that? And just so you know, he is a vicious little thing that hates being touched and he bites and scratches, plus he freaks me out at times. And coming from a cat lover that has got to say something about how much of a bad kitty he is.

Well I think I am going to make a cup of really hot cocoa or coffee now.

Note To Self #3

16 Feb

DSC_0102 - Copy

 

Do not wear polka dot socks outside unless you want people to stare.

or worse laugh.

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