It’s Almost Valentine’s Day…Everybody Hide.

13 Feb

My dear and fellow earthlings, the dreaded “lovers day” is almost upon us.

freaking out

You know, when couples do romantic things for each other,things they have neglected from the start of the year and will obviously continue neglecting after the 14th.  Nothing like looking forward to getting flowers only once a year or hearing those three magic words that may or may not go AWOL again until the next February 14th.

I imagine it is an awesome experience I guess and this year I am spending my with one of the most amazing people I know..ME.  That is great because I am really looking forward to getting nothing.

How are you spending yours if I may ask?

I have some advice for those of you who are not looking forward to it. It might be that you are single or do not have enough money to spend or you just do not want because the idea of seeing red everything is making your head hurt. I have come up with a list, I hope it helps. Boycotting something has never been this fun. Please keep in mind that most of these are for the single people.

TOP TEN WAYS TO AVOID/ GET OUT OF CELEBRATING VALENTINE’S DAY

  1. The first one I am sure most people have tried it. Come up with a ridiculous argument, you do not even need to win just make it dramatic. When valentine’s day comes act like you are still upset. Spend the day in bed or doing all the things you love. If you are working, sorry. Make up on the 15th. Can anyone say make up sex 
  2. Do not under any circumstances watch TV or listen to the radio…the whole schedule is going to be full of valentine’s day shows. I kid you not, it doesn’t matter is it is Disney or HBO. If you have a PVR, start recording none valentine’s day shows now to watch tomorrow. Read a book, why not A Game Of Thrones??
  3. Pretend tomorrow is any other day or better pretend it is another of your favorite holidays. Put on a “likumbi lyamize” outfit or a halo-ween costume if you have to. It can even be Christmas, this is great if you have a Santa fetish, you can even put on the beard and everything. Just hope the red does not remind you of “the day which must not be named’
  4. As soon as you finish reading this point, set the date to February 15 even though it is the 13th. if you do not want to be extreme just do it for your phone and take down the calendars for a day. When you wake up tomorrow, it will obviously be the 16th (your phone says so).  celebration avoided.
  5. If someone asks you to spend the day with them, tell them that your neighbor’s best friend’s sister in-law’s cousin’s boyfriend’s cat died and you are attending the funeral. They will understand.
  6. Switch of your phone, the last thing you need are forwarded cheesy chain messages that will make you want to hurl.  If you have important phone calls that you can not miss, keep your phone on but please IGNORE ALL valentine’s day related texts or calls.
  7. Do your laundry, if everything is clean you can do anyone’s laundry that is in the house. Hey you know what they say “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”
  8. Facebook is a no-no for you. The last thing you need is all your friends in relationships rubbing it in your face about how amazing their day is, especially since you are avoiding it. If you love social networking so much, join good reads. You will not regret it.
  9. Have a zombie movie marathon, everything you can get your hands on. Resident Evil, Dawn of the dead, The devils rejects, Creation of the dead, A Zombie stole my lunch, Your money or your brains, Zombie Apocalypse  Run Run the zombies are coming, the works. (p.s some of these titles are totally made up)
  10. Start gardening. If you enjoy it so much continue with it even after the 14th.

Well there you have it, you can thank me later 🙂

xoxo

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4 Responses to “It’s Almost Valentine’s Day…Everybody Hide.”

  1. Experienced Tutors February 13, 2013 at 2:45 pm #

    Far too commercially led for my liking.

  2. Sui Generis February 13, 2013 at 3:07 pm #

    Hahaha ati ‘A Zombie stole my lunch’
    I’m not doing Valentine’s this year, unless Pizza accepts to be my Valentines.lol.

    Nice post Dee!! It’s good you continued writing this Vac, now I’m happy :]

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