My simple guide to gaining 2000 facebook friends in a week

3 Mar

Hello there!

Do you think what that man is doing is “facebooking”?

Are you sad and lonely?

Do you feel unappreciated because you have less than 200 facebook friends?

are you bullied daily because you are still in the 3 digit numbers?

would you like to be a facebook celebrity?

Not to worry because your wish is about to come true…after years of daily facebooking and fighting the addiction (well i am still an addict), I am pleased to say that I have found the well hidden secret to having 4000+ contacts when you are not a celebrity. It took a while to sink in but when it finally did, boy was i glad.

Before I even start my simple guide, you must first promise yourself that no matter how absurd the advice sounds, it has worked for some people and you should commit yourself completely to it.

TOP TEN STEPS TO BECOMING A FACEBOOK CELEBRITY:

.

Step 1: Come up with a catchy ridiculously long name that discribes who you are and include a celebrity name and Tv character in it e.g Dorcas IamTallAndCreepyWithlongLegs carter salvatore amis. 😀

Step 2: Have a bad girl attitude and dont take shit from anyone… update your info with things like you are the manage of a company called “keeping it sexy corp” and that you went to high school at a school called “too hot to handle me high”. 😀 (always invites people in)

Step 3: Upload half naked pictures of yourself, make sure they are hot, otherwise it wont work. (use your body to get attention) 😀

Step 4: Choose a sexy Profile picture-one where you are in your bra, kneeling on your bed, one hand on your waist and licking a lolipop (black and white works best, i know this because I am a culprit..*.the black and white part not the bra part*) 😀

Step 5: Update really eye catching updates that will have all the guys and girls thinking “OMG” especially about sex and dirty jokes (speaking from experience..)

Step 6: Talk about the parties you attend and upload pictures to prove how blazing it was and how sexy you looked.. (do a peace sign in all your pictures)

Step 7: If you are a girl make sure you have a lot if pictures showing off you cleavege (lean forward so people can see them better..they loooove boobs on facebook)

Step 8: when it is after 10pm post updates like “i am so horny and lonely, wanna chat in my inbox” or “it is freezing, i wish i had someone to keep me warm”

Step 9: Complain about the “haters” you have and insult them, telling them how they remind you of dog shit. this will have people thinking, “damn, this person is hard..let me suggest them to my friends” (mission impossibe)

Step 10: Befriend all the well known people and add them to you relatives list e.g  having a lot of cousins, fathers, mothers, daughters, grandfathers in your info. They should also have long name and cool profile pictures.

well thats about it, if that doesnt work i dont know what will. 😀 😀 😀

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3 Responses to “My simple guide to gaining 2000 facebook friends in a week”

  1. ZED LOLS March 3, 2012 at 10:01 pm #

    oh ya, so this is the differenc between a duck? Lol, retard in the house

    • dorcamis March 3, 2012 at 10:04 pm #

      hahaha,dude I am just following in your footsteps.lol

  2. Sui Generis March 27, 2012 at 12:06 pm #

    Lol sick!! Though has been proved.

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